Why Christian?

Recently I started a Bible Study/Discussion group that meets weekly at a Brewery here in town. I called it Beer and Bible and it has drawn an ever changing and eclectic group of individuals who have inspired some of the best and most insightful conversations I had ever had on the Bible, religion, and Christianity.

This week, I proposed a kind of different conversation for our group. I was inspired by the recent and overwhelmingly successful conference that was organized by Rachel Held Evans and Nadia Bolz-Webber called Why Christian? in which they had a series of speakers, all of whom were women, tell their story as to why they are active in the Christian faith. The speakers were from various denominations, backgrounds, races, ages, and experiences.

I thought this would be a great topic for our meeting as well. Why are we Christian? In a world in which Christianity has become embroiled in scandal, abuse, greed, and materialism, why are we surprised that so many young people are turning away from Christianity altogether? In the lead up to the meeting many of my online friends expressed interest in the topic, and many who had given up on Church long ago said that perhaps they could be inspired to return (although church and faith are definitely not the same thing).

In preparation for the meeting, I started thinking about what I might say about why I am a Christian and found that even for me, someone who's faith has been renewed to a level previously unimaginable, who has gained a new wondrous and mature understanding of God, spirituality, redemption, and belief, this was not an easy question.

So, first I looked at Why Not Christian? What are those things that have become associated with Christianity that are driving people away from the Christian faith in droves? The four main things I came up with were exclusivity, hatefulness, dying, and conservative. So, let's look at each of these a little more in depth so you know what I mean.

1. Exlusivity.

This, for me, was the one thing that drove me away from the church in which I was raised. I had found that the Catholic Church had become ridiculously exclusive. More and more, I found that I was feeling less and less welcome in the church in which I had been baptised, confirmed, and (at least the second time) married. I knew that the church had closed its doors completely to lesbians and gays (that is, unless they simply give up who they are and live celibate lives denying the very essence of their humanness), and had relegated women to official and permanent second class status. 

But it was becoming more than simply ostracizing certain groups based on the way they were born. The Church was becoming more and more strict about what beliefs you espoused on issues that had nothing to do with religion itself. Your political beliefs, or your social beliefs started becoming fodder for membership in the church. If you voted for pro-choice candidates, or if you supported the legalization of same-sex marriage, this now became reason for denying you communion, essentially in the Catholic faith condemning you to an eternity in hell if you believed in that.

After leaving the Catholic church, and finding my way as a newly minted Episcopalian, I started noticing that this exclusivity was a major part of many Christian faiths. Defining what was "real Christianity" versus "false Christianity" became a theme in the teachings of many Christian preachers and followers. These types of Christians see themselves as being the exclusive owners of the Truth and use this view to condemn all others who don't believe exactly the same as they do. Their view of God is so small that it fits neatly in easily digestible platitudes. They survive off of control and fear and grow based on the dependence that this instills in their followers.

It's not hard to see how this negative, belittling view of Christianity would tend to drive those who are growing up in a culture that is increasingly open and accepting would turn away from such beliefs.

2. Hate

It's amazing that a church that was founded on the teachings of a man whose central theme was love would use their beliefs to spread hate against others. But the modern day Christian church is chock full of hate for "others" whoever they may be.

The most obvious target for this hate within Christianity is against LGBTQ individuals. God Hates Fags may be associated with the insane members of the Westboro Baptists Church who picket funerals of soldiers killed in combat, but the belief is one that is the foundation of much of the teaching going on in many if not most modern day Christian churches. The harm that Christianity has done to LGBT youth is unfathomable, leading to gays and lesbians living a miserable closeted existence, being constantly dishonest about who they are, and often leading to suicide.

But Christianity's hate is not reserved exclusively for LGBTQ people, but also those of other beliefs. Muslims are often the target of such vile hatred. If you took out the word "Muslim" from the rants of preachers like Franklin Graham it would be virtually impossible to distinguish them from the most radical member of ISIS railing against infidels.

Often this hate against different beliefs is turned against other Christians. Those who don't believe exactly the same way as we do are considered not to be True Christians. If you don't follow the exact tenants, use the exact same Bible, or act exactly the way we act, you are "other", impure, inauthentic.

Such ideas are out of step both with our modern culture as much as they are with the teachings of Jesus Christ himself.

3. Dying

Christianity is a dying religion. Its leaders are old. Its followers are old. Its beliefs are old. Christianity has no bearing or significance in our daily lives.

This is the view of many in our culture today. And it isn't difficult when you look at many of the leaders of the modern Christian church why that is. So many of our leaders seem to be concerned more about their bank balance, than their work to carry out the message of their Lord and Savior. When you see televangelists scamming poor widows out of their life savings so they can buy a bigger jet, or live in a bigger mansion, that religion deserves to go the way of the dinosaurs.

Christianity because of its insistence on rules, dogmas, and fear is losing its influence on our society. The fact that fewer and fewer Americans are calling themselves Christians or religious at all shows that the church is indeed dying.

Billy Graham surrounded by a gaggle of rich, powerful power brokers from Rupert Murdoch, to Sarah Palin to Donald Trump.

4. Conservative

I don't mean this in a political sense, although it would fit that too. What I mean is that the church has ceased being bold, assertive, controversial. Christianity has become safe. So safe that it is boring.

A church that doesn't take chances, that doesn't challenge society's norms, that doesn't risk controversy is a church that is insignificant.

Now you will see all sorts of Christians claiming that they are radical. You will see them claiming that they are being persecuted by our secular laws. You will see them claiming that God has no place in our public life in the United States any longer. You will see them claiming that there are all sorts of plots against them to dismantle and attack Christianity.

This, of course, is all hog wash. I can't seem to escape religion in the public square however hard I may try. The only way that Christians are being persecuted or discriminated against is that they are not being allowed to force their beliefs on others (yet). Not being allowed to discriminate is not the same as being discriminated against. And nobody is forcing any church anywhere to do anything against their beliefs within their own church.

So, what it comes down to is that Christianity is very much in favor of the status quo. It is safe. It is insular. It is stayed.

And in all of that, it is insignificant.

So, with all of these very good reasons not to be Christian, why am I a Christian still?

It wasn't long ago that I really didn't consider myself to be much of a Christian, if one at all. I had the faith in which I was raised, and that still carried a significant cultural influence on me. But as I mentioned above, I no longer felt welcome at the church of my upbringing, nor did I feel the need to belong to a church at all. Religion played little role in my day to day life. Prayer was non-existent. If I had to choose a religion on a questionnaire I was just as likely to put None as I was to put Catholic or Christian.

So what is it that brought me back to the church? Really it was finding a church which reawakened my faith, re-introduced me to the teachings of Jesus Christ, and followed that teaching up with action, making these teachings relevant and significant to today's world. There are many people in what the newly installed Presiding Bishop in my Episcopal Church calls the Jesus Movement who follow this call to be a relevant active faith, taking on the challenges of modern society and making a significant impact on our world by following and living the Gospel and basing our lives on it.

So, what are the traits of the Christianity that I have found and adopted in my life? Not surprisingly, the Christianity that claimed me exhibits traits that are essentially the polar opposite of what the Christianity described above. We are open. We are inclusive and affirming. We are life giving and life affirming. And most importantly we are radical, like Jesus.

1. Open

One of the most significant things I found right away was that my faith and my church was one of openness. You don't have to be a particular type of person to be a Christian. You can be a Christian if you are rich, poor, white, black, Liberal, Conservative, Educated, Uneducated, gay, straight, male, female, transgender, or any number of descriptors you can come up with. God is not exclusive, so why should God's church be?

Jesus in his ministry did not turn people away. He went out to the people, meeting with tax collectors, thieves, lepers, Gentiles, prostitutes, demoniacs. He ministered to those who had been shut out of the accepted "in crowd" of the day. So why should we turn our backs on those who have been ostracized by our current society? Aren't these the very people that we are called to embrace if we are living like Jesus?

The Christianity I found is one of no limits. God is limitless, so the more barriers we God's followers put up, the less we are living out our faith; the less we are like God. When we love and welcome all people, whether they are like us in their beliefs, their appearance, their sexuality, and honor the divine in them, we are helping to create the Kingdom of God here on Earth, as Jesus himself taught us to pray for.

2. Inclusive and Affirming

This may seem similar to being open, but openness and inclusiveness are not the same. Affirming is a step further.

In order for Christianity to be inclusive, those barriers that have caused division within the church must be broken down. That means that exclusion based on sex, race, sexuality, etc. is not to be tolerated. Women must be equal with men. Gay equal with straight. Black equal with white. Transgender equal with Cis-gender. To exclude is to lessen both ourselves and God.

For many the inclusion of even women as equals in worship is unfathomable. But for me, the father of a daughter, the brother of sisters, and the son of a mother, anything less than true equality between the sexes was unacceptable. I wanted my daughter to know that she was truly the equal of anyone and there was no better way to see that than to see a person of her gender acting as God's representative in worship.

Even more unacceptable to many Christians than women having an equal role in the church is openly LGBTQ people playing an equal role. Of course, to get to this point you need to see LGBTQ people as people rather than behaviors. What I have experienced in belonging to an affirming church, one that says to its members we love and accept you for who you are and because of who you are, is the most amazing thing in the world. Those who have felt shunned, sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally, from the Christian church because of who they are, become filled with a joy and Grace that can only come from God. When one realizes that they are loved as a child of God wholly including their sexuality, you see a transformation that is truly beautiful.

Imagine going your whole life thinking that you are shameful. That whatever good you have in you, because of who you are and how you express sexual love, you can never be accepted fully by God and that you are condemned for it? That is what too many Christians are doing to the LGBTQ community.

But that is not what Christ would do. That is not what we as Christians are called to do. We are all children of God wholly, and completely, warts and all.

3. Life Giving and Life Affirming.

Seeing the life of Jesus Christ and especially his death and resurrection as a template for my life has been an incredible discovery. We constantly go through a process of life, death, and resurrection. We live our lives, constantly changing, constantly renewing, constantly being reborn. Every death is painful, bringing on sorrow and a period of mourning. But it is followed by a rebirth, a new beginning, and the renewal of life again.

A church (and by church I mean a group of believers, not a building or a particular denomination) that is life giving and life affirming will not sit back and watch the world go by. A church filled with life can't help but spread that life to others. That means feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, helping the poor, uplifting the weak, fighting for justice. Life breeds life.

A church that respects life -- all life -- will stand firm on issues that destroy life. A life giving and life affirming church will work to stop war, will work to stop executions, will work to stop violence. This is what I have found in Christianity.

4. Radical Like Jesus

Above I described a Christianity that had become conservative, boring, institutional. A Christianity that was safe, working for the status quo. This is Country Club Christianity, where you belong to be seen and to rub elbows with power brokers. Just look at the group of wealthy parasites that Franklin Graham dredged up for his father's birthday celebration a few years back and you start to see why there is an ever growing army of "Nones" in this country.

But the Christianity I have found and lived is true to the radical nature of Jesus himself. Jesus didn't get nailed to a Cross because he wanted things to stay the same. Jesus challenged every societal and religious norm that existed in his time and in his culture. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love your enemies. Do to others as you would have them do to you. His teachings on social justice present a picture of what the Kingdom of God will hold on Earth if we simply follow the teachings of Jesus and put our faith in God. Jesus turned the entire social structure of his day on its head.

We are called to follow Jesus's teachings and to do the same today. Christians are not called to be safe. We are not called to be timid. Christians are called to be like Christ -- bold, brave, radical. We are called to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. We are called to seek justice constantly, and not meekly, but loudly and forcefully. We are called to love, not when it is easy, but when it is hard, to love those who would hurt us the most, or who have hurt us the most.

It seems weird in a society where such a large percentage of our populace claims some form of Christianity or another as their religion that they mistakenly believe that we were founded as a Christian nation, that being a Christian could be counter-cultural. But that is what believing in the teachings of Jesus Christ and living our life according to these beliefs is. It is radical. It is against the grain. It is revolutionary.

To meet hate with love. To meet violence with pacifism. To meet fear with faith. These are radical ideas. They are what Jesus charged us to do if we were to follow Him. This is why I am Christian.

Call It What It Is

I try not to write when I'm angry. If I do, I tend to make statements that I don't really mean or that I later regret.

So, it has been the case that I have waited weeks and weeks before making this post. I first wanted to address the issue of the system of structural white supremacy when family members of an African-American student were arrested for cheering as their loved one graduated high school. Before I could write that post, there was the incident in McKinney, Texas where an out of control white police officer manhandled a young black girl wearing a bathing suit, and drew a gun on other young African-Americans, all because some white members of a gated community were upset that black kids were swimming in their pool.

My anger had subsided almost enough to write about the issues that I saw through all of these incidents as well as the all too regular killing of unarmed African-Americans by police usually without consequence when nine members of Mother Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, SC were murdered by a 21 year-old admitted white supremacist claiming that "you rape our women and are taking over everything," before shooting them during a Bible study.

I can't wait anymore.

This is not about Dylann Roof. This is not about a few bad apples in law enforcement. This is not about any individual incident or official. This is about a system that is built upon and for the purpose of perpetuating white supremacy in our country.

I am speaking today to my fellow white people. We are the ones in the wrong. We are the ones with the problem. Whether as active participants or as silent bystanders we benefit from this system and our failure to abolish it allows it to continue.

The shootings in Charleston are an obvious display of white supremacy. Nobody, except the most outrageously overt racist, would not condemn this unspeakable act of violence and hate. However, due to its outrageous nature, we allow ourselves to separate from the incident itself. We tell ourselves, that's not me. I would never do that. We see it as the outlier rather than the ultimate outcome of the societal norm.

In all of the examples I have set forth above, each and every one of them results from systemic white supremacy. In arresting the family of the graduating teenager, the system was saying "We allowed you to get a diploma, why do you insist on loudly celebrating this? Let us remind you where you belong as we place these cuffs on you."

In the incident at the pool in McKinney, Texas, the kids swimming were invited by a resident of the gated community, their African-American classmate, and were being supervised by her mother. But even though they were invited there and were legally attending as a guest of a resident, several white residents objected and called police, who happily obliged, ignoring white attendees and detaining, assaulting, and subjugating the black attendees. In essence, what was being said was "Aren't you satisfied that we let you live in our community? You have to invite your friends, too?" The police officer in question, who later resigned and will no doubt go on to police elsewhere, after flipping the 14 year-old girl and dragging her by her hair, proceeded to kneel on her back while yelling "On your face!" repeatedly as he assaulted her. For swimming in a pool. In 2015. In the United States of America.

Following the murders of the members of Mother Emanuel, there are calls for changes to be made. There are real issues that are being discussed. But what worries me is that superficial symbolic changes are made without really making the systemic changes that are needed. It is fine and noble (and 150 years overdue) to call for the removal of the Confederate Flag from the state house grounds in Columbia, South Carolina. But this will have no meaning unless we destroy the system of white supremacy which considers a flag representing the fight to defend a system of selling human beings into servitude to be heritage.

We are a nation which passes laws today which intentionally disenfranchise African-Americans because those in power see their participation in the system to be a threat to the status quo. We are a nation which passes laws which we know will disproportionately impact the African-American community imprisoning them at rates unequaled anywhere in the industrialized world. We are a nation which decries the destruction of property in response to immense injustice while shrugging our shoulders at the injustice itself.

It needs to end. Now.

The first thing to do when addressing a problem is to admit it exists and to give it a name. The name is white supremacy. It is a problem that is pervasive throughout our society. It is a system which intentionally harasses, discriminates against, imprisons, assaults, and murders people of color and does so systematically, continuously, and with impunity. It is a system by which we, white people, especially white males, benefit.

After we have admitted and named the problem, we must educate ourselves and our white brothers and sisters about the its causes and pervasiveness. Read about it. Listen to your black brothers and sisters without comment. Recognize the existence in large and small occurrences in your everyday life. Call it out when you see it. Make others recognize it and fight against it.

When we are educated, then we must fight to eradicate the philosophy of white supremacy from our society. Papering over it by taking down a flag, or eliminating one or two organizations, will not accomplish a thing. We will have a nicer looking system of injustice and evil. We must dismantle the system which feeds the idea that the white race is by its nature superior and entitled to more than any other, and that unequal treatment in our society justified by this belief. This is not easy, and this will cause great discomfort. But we will truly perish as a society if we do not put every fiber of our beings into this cause.

The time is now. Do not delay.

Stop Celebrating Hate

I love my town.

Despite the common belief that Southern towns don't welcome strangers, especially Yankees, into their fold, I have been welcomed, accepted, and forged a successful career here since arriving here nearly two decades ago. I love how Shelby, North Carolina celebrates its diversity, has developed a quirky arts scene, and has established itself as a center of bluegrass and roots music becoming known nationally for its musical heritage.

But, as with many Southern towns, we are surrounded by constant reminders of a not so positive past. Throughout our beautiful Uptown area, its impossible not to notice the old buildings with a main entrance and a door to the side that today seems inexplicable, but not long ago served as the "Colored" entrance to the building. Sometimes we are reminded of this ugly past whether it be by a hateful comment, a racist display, or even an act of racist violence. Although, unlike days past, these rare instances are met with almost universal revulsion.

While the past is inescapable, there is no need for us to celebrate the worst parts of it. So, why is it, then, that we continue to have the main highway through our town be named after a perpetrator of some of the most vile, violent, racist philosophy ever espoused?

Thomas Dixon, Jr. is one of Shelby's most famous and infamous sons. He was without a doubt an incredibly accomplished individual. A scholar, author, preacher, and philosopher who was a friend to Presidents and influenced millions, Dixon was considered one of the leading minds of the late 19th and early 20th century.

However, what Dixon is best known for is a trilogy of novels which championed the activities of the Ku Klux Klan and perpetuated a philosophy of white supremacy which considered persons of African descent to be less than human. Dixon's philosophy considered Africans to be inferior in intelligence, morality, and every other way. He supported lynching as a legitimate act necessary to subjugate the black race and to maintain the social order of the South. Dixon's books were the basis of the film "Birth of a Nation" which continues to be considered one of the most racist films ever made.

Dixon's beliefs were very much a result of his birth and upbringing in Cleveland County. At a young age he witnessed a lynching by Klan members in the Shelby town square of a black man accused of raping a white woman. As the body hanged from a tree in the town square, Dixon's mother whispered to him that the Klan were their people. As I walk each day through this very square on my way to the courthouse, I can't help but wonder if any of the beautiful old oak trees I pass once bore the weight of a burned and bullet riddled body of a young black man whose only jury was an angry mob and whose only due process was found at the end of a knotted rope.

I do not propose that we wipe our city of the memory of Thomas Dixon. I don't propose digging up his grave in Sunset Cemetery or even taking down the plaque which commemorates his authorship of "The Clansman" or that the book inspired "Birth of a Nation." His history is our history, as much as many of us wish it weren't.

But why should a city which is working so hard to reinvent itself as a cultural center, drawing visitors from across the Southeast and the nation, present as its gateway, a highway named after someone who spouted such vile and hateful racism? Our vibrant Uptown is filled with streets named after Revolutionary War heroes, recounting our County's pivotal role in the founding of the United States. We have built a new tourism industry based on our musical native sons Don Gibson and Earl Scruggs. We even have a new brewery opening in a few months which takes its name from this musical heritage. Our streets are now filled year round with performers and artists bringing a new progressive vibrancy that has not been seen here before. Surely we can do better than to continue to celebrate hate as we welcome those visitors coming in to share in this cultural renaissance we are experiencing.

I propose that we rename the stretch of U.S. Highway 74 that runs through Shelby, NC to reflect the musical heritage of this area. Certainly names such as Bluegrass Boulevard or Earl Scruggs Highway, or even Scruggs-Gibson Boulevard would better represent the Shelby of today than Dixon Boulevard does.

We do not need to forget our past, whether it be good or bad. In fact, we must remember it lest we repeat it again. But we need not celebrate the worst parts of it, nor yoke ourselves with the burden of past hatred. We can do better. We must do better.

What I Learned From My Social Media Fast

Let's face it. I'm a social media junkie. I admit it. If you see me in a spare moment, you will most likely see me clicking on my Facebook timeline or on my phone checking my Twitter feed.

The problem is that it has become a problem. It has been a constant source of friction between my wife and I. I often find myself unable to pay attention to a movie or television show because I get bored and have to check my phone. My life was being affected negatively by my social media habit.

So, recently, I made a decision that during my vacation with my wife and daughter, I would forego all social media for the entire week. I left the computer at home, deleted the Facebook and Twitter apps from my phone, and hunkered down for what I thought would be a white knuckle experience.

What I found was quite surprising. The biggest thing was that I didn't really find it that difficult not to constantly be checking my phone for the latest update on my social media feeds. This was especially the case for Facebook. Did I miss some things with my friends? I'm sure I did. Did it detract from my experience overall on my vacation to miss these things? Absolutely not.

In fact, I found myself thoroughly enjoying my time with my family, not missing any experience because I was on my phone or distracted otherwise by something that mattered very little in the grand scheme of things. My wife and I watched three movies and I actually paid attention for the entire length of the film. I was fully engaged with my daughter and more fully enjoyed each minute with her. It was by far the best, most relaxing, most enjoyable weekend I've had in quite some time.

So, why am I back on social media, although less than previously, especially when I'm with my family?

There are a couple of reasons. Granted these might be justifications rather than reasons.

1. I do enjoy it and it is a source of entertainment. This is especially the case for Facebook. It's how I keep in touch with friends who are separated by great distance and time. I enjoy the conversations and witticisms in the comments of my posts. So, to the extent that it benefits and adds to the enjoyment of my life, it is a positive thing. However, I realize that it can very quickly become a distraction, and take away from what is really important in my life.

2. To some extent social media has become a necessity. This is especially the case for my business. Even while on vacation I had clients or colleagues contact me on business through Facebook or Messenger. Facebook has been a quite effective way to maintain a presence in the community with little effort or cost to me. This is actually quite troubling, since what is a completely false interaction has become one of the ways we rely on to communicate with each other, but the pressure to compete is such that Facebook has become at least a necessary evil in some ways.

3. I was left to the evils of mainstream media for my news. This one is particular to Twitter. My Twitter feed has become my number one go to source for news. This is especially the case when there is important breaking news going on. In the last couple of months, the conflict in Gaza and the protests in Ferguson have demonstrated the great usefulness of Twitter in disseminating information on a global scale instantaneously as events happen. Twitter is fast becoming an incredibly influential medium in forming the public opinion and driving information in the world. It is subversive. It is revolutionary. It is one of the most democratizing services in the world. I like to be informed. Filtering my information through the incredibly monotonous and increasingly irrelevant mainstream news media makes me feel almost completely uninformed in comparison.

So, where does that leave me?

One thing I have learned through my week long social media fast is that my priorities were screwed up. My family must be the number one focus of my time and attention. Failure to do this is depriving me of the best thing that has ever happened to me, and depriving my wife and daughter of my time and attention.

The only question that remains is whether or not I am able to actually strike a balance between my use of social media and the attention that I must place on my family. If I can, and my priorities remain in the right order, everything will be great. If I can't, then the only acceptable solution will be to completely cut out the social media permanently. Hopefully it won't come to that, but if it does, at least I've learned that I can survive without constantly checking for the latest tweet or who posted the latest stupid meme or film of ice being dropped on someone's head.

How Gays Brought Me to Christ

It was a sticky June evening in this small, sleepy, Southern town. People were gathering on the lawn in the garden behind a church carrying food, lawn chairs, picnic blankets, coolers, playing cornhole, and watching their children run on the playground. Everything seemed perfectly ordinary, except for the four loud protesters carrying signs and loudly shouting bible verses and hurling insults at those who came in.

You see, despite appearances, this was not an ordinary church picnic at all, this was Shelby, North Carolina's first ever gay pride event, organized and hosted by the Episcopal Church of the Redeemer. In the seventeen plus years I had lived and practiced law in this town that sometimes seems like it is stuck in 1950 both in appearance and attitude, I had never seen a more diverse group of individuals gather in one place. Gay, straight, all races, ages, economic backgrounds, Christian, atheist, pagan, all gathering and celebrating simply being able to be themselves. One thing that really struck me in that huge crowd of over 300 people gathering on a church lawn was that everyone was smiling, hugging, holding hands, and simply enjoying themselves. The feeling of joy and celebration was universal, the only bad feelings or negativity were coming from the four lonely protesters tying to disrupt the party to no avail.

This celebration came on the heels of decades of fear and discrimination, and more immediately after a week of intense debate on social media, in the comments section of the local paper, and in the pulpits of local churches. The comments ranged from the typical (and theologically suspect) "Love the sinner, hate the sin" kind of nonsense, to "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," to more troubling and offensive statements such as "God ain't run out of AIDS yet." The attacks went from attacking gays and lesbians to fanning out attacking women and calling the supporters of the event baby killers. The one theme that seemed to run through most of the attacks, however, was that it was wrong for a Christian church to be sponsoring a program like this because to celebrate and accept the LGBT community was to go against God.

One local pastor went so far as to publish a long, ranting screed criticizing our church and our Rector, along with the local paper for publishing a story about the event. He went through the usual who's who hit list of Bible verses, always taken alone, to demonstrate his belief that homosexuality was wrong in the eyes of God. He further went on to attack the Episcopal Church, our Rector, our parish, our finances, and the way we carry out our ministries. Seriously. He seemed somewhat unhinged as he ranted and raged about how 80% of the county voters had approved of the State constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage, so why were we having this event?

Although I know that not all of his church approves of his actions during the week, it is notable that two of the four protesters at the event were from his church. It is also notable that while all of this was happening, I received vaguely threatening letters along with religious tracts attacking same sex marriage at my office, two gay members of my church had their house vandalized with homophobic threats painted on their door, and the church was deluged with threatening e-mails and letters throughout the week. Take the protesting soldiers funerals out of the equation, and there is really little difference between the beliefs being put forth by this pastor, and those agreeing with him and acting on his behalf, and the Westboro Baptist Church.

When we first met for a planning session that was called by our Rector saying she wanted to organize a Gay Pride event for Shelby, North Carolina, I was expecting a demonstration, or a parade, or something in your face. Having been an activist in one issue or another all of my adult life, rallies or demonstrations are something that is in my blood, and confrontation is something I know moves issues forward. I have to admit that when she announced to the group of about 25 organizers that the plan was for a picnic, I was a little disappointed and thought it was a little hokey.

I could not have expected that something so innocent and so un-confrontational as a picnic, could create such controversy. It was only after experiencing the apoplectic reaction of the religious conservatives in town and seeing the pure love and joy shared by all of those in attendance, did I realize how perfect and ingenious the idea to have a picnic was. For the public at large, it created the incredibly absurd picture of a group that was so rabid in their opposition to the LGBT community that they would actually picket a church picnic. But more importantly, for those in attendance, whether they were gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or straight allies, it gave them a safe place where they could be themselves without fear of disapproval, without fear of retribution, without fear, period. The power and strength that came from that was truly something that I am glad I was able to be a part of.

But more importantly for us as a church, it was a way to experience and live our faith in a deeper and more direct way. This was not a safe thing for us to do as a church. We could have gone about attending our Sunday services, and doing our ministries, writing our checks, and felt pretty good about ourselves that we were inclusive and open. But, in this event, we put our beliefs of openness, inclusiveness, hospitality, and above all LOVE into practice. We stood up to the critics and the naysayers and said we will not be cowed by your insults and your threats and your criticisms. We are people of faith and we are going to make a stand for what we believe even if you look down on us for doing so.

I was raised in a Roman Catholic church that was unbelievably liberal in its message and its practices. My pastor growing up had marched with Dr. King in Selma, and never shied away from a fight because he was afraid to ruffle feathers. So, after he left our parish I was left with a church which had over the years moved away from his type of Liberation Theology to a much more conservative theology with little emphasis on social justice, and much more emphasis on morality, especially sexual morality. I became more and more dismayed as I searched for a church which shared my views and shared what I felt was the true message of Christianity -- that we are to love one another as Christ loved us and our neighbor as ourselves.

It wasn't until the issue of Amendment One came to the forefront that I found what I had been searching for my whole life. Seeing that there was one (and only one) church that was speaking out against the proposed amendment to our state constitution banning same sex marriage and civil unions, I decided to check out what they had to offer. What I found was the only church of which I had ever been a part, that was actually practicing the message that I had always found in the Bible, that radical love and revolutionary acceptance that for me was the whole point of Christ's message.

In the years since, I have become much more spiritual, much more religious, and I can say with confidence a generally better person. I attend services almost every week, I am involved in my parish's leadership, my family is involved in various ministries in the church, and my child is being raised to actively know and love God in an atmosphere that teaches her that she is an equal and equally valuable part of our church family as is everyone regardless of their gender, race, sexual orientation, economic standing, or age.

So, what say you who lobbed insults and vicious attacks on social media, or who stood outside our picnic and insulted people as they arrived and left the event (my wife on leaving asked my just turned five year-old daughter to close her eyes and plug her ears so she wouldn't have to hear the insults being shouted at her)? How is it that God could use the LGBT community to speak to me and bring me back into God's fold and God's house if he hates gays and lesbians and considers them unworthy of God's love and acceptance? How could God speak to me through their struggle if what you are saying is true? How could I be healed of my anger, disappointment and emptiness,by the welcoming call of lesbians and gays to come back to God's house, if God did not love each of God's creation equally? And how is it that God could act through us to organize an event where all of those in attendance were able to share God's house with joy, love, and laughter while those outside claiming to work in God's name were so angry and sad?

The Sunday following the picnic, our early service was marred by protesters who came onto church property yelling through bullhorns trying to disrupt our service. They were asked to leave and eventually did after the intervention of local law enforcement. They left graffiti on our sidewalk demanding that we repent of our beliefs or else we would burn in hell. After the conclusion of the later service, several of those attending the service cleaned the graffiti from the sidewalk. After clearing away all the hateful language, they left one word untouched. The only word that mattered.

"LOVE"

Death by Journalism

I'm going to tell you a story. You may have seen in mentioned in your circles, or maybe caught a stray mention of it while catching up on news on the net. But most likely, it has flown under your radar, as its subject is not one that would normally make the evening news or mainstream newspaper readership. It is the story of all things a journalist's investigation into the claims made of the makers of a putter. Yes, a putter. A golf club. But because of the complete ignorance and unrecognized privilege of the author and his editors, specifically, and the complete and utter lack of value that society places on one segment of our society, this seemingly innocuous subject led directly to the death of the club's designer.

The story was written by Caleb Hannan (@calebhannan) for the pseudo-news ESPN imprint Grantland. It was entitled "Dr. V's Magical Putter." The link to the story is here, and I encourage you to read the story, not to give Grantland any further undeserved clicks for this horrible excuse for journalism, but just so you can get a sense of how Hannan portrays himself as somehow the hero of this story and how little the revelations made about Essay Anne Vanderbilt, which led to her suicide, had to do with the actual story, and how completely unnecessary they were.

To cut to the chase, Essay Anne Vanderbilt was a transgender woman. She was biologically born with male reproductive organs, but was unquestionably a woman. She lived with her female partner, a retired securities analyst with Bank of America, and together they invented the putter that was initially the subject of the article.

There were several legitimate topics of the investigation (why any purported news organization would grant eight months to a reporter to investigate a putter is beyond my understanding, but it's their publication). It appeared that Dr. V as Vanderbilt was known, had allegedly falsified her academic and professional credentials, and that her claims as to the efficacy of the putter were questionable. Fair enough.

However, the bombshell of the piece was that Dr. V was transgender, or as Hannan puts it "was born a boy." This was portrayed by Hannan as just another "lie" that Vanderbilt told. Not only had she made up her degrees and experience, but get this -- she's not even a "real" woman, guys!

Not only did Hannan make it known to Vanderbilt, who had repeatedly insisted that she and her personal life not be the subject of the story, that the focus remain on the putter, but he told one of Vanderbilt's investors that she was transgender.

Hannan reports this fact in his story, and then claims, again making himself the main subject of the story, how difficult it is to "eulogize" the subject of your story.

There is no doubt that Hannan's overly aggressive tactics in reporting this story and revealing a very personal fact that Vanderbilt had chosen to keep private, as is her right, led directly to her suicide. Why Grantland would choose to run the story, revealing her private personal facts to the world posthumously and further smearing her name is a question that I still can't quite answer. Bill Simmons the creator of Grantland tries to offer an explanation here. But, this explanation, really more of a CYA from Disney's legal department than an article, really doesn't answer that.

As I read the story, then followed much of the outrage that was filling up my twitter feed over the weekend, I found myself having a palpable visceral reaction to the story. I became filled with anger and outrage and was on multiple occasions nearly brought to tears reading the reactions and stories from transgender men and women across the world.

I asked myself why this was happening. Why was something that had so little to do with me causing me such consternation. I know that I get outraged whenever I see an injustice (it's the '70s Catholic upbringing I guess -- Liberation Theology and all). But, what was it about this that was effecting me so deeply.

When I took time to analyze what was going on, what I feel really affected me and caused me to feel this great outrage was the fact that the author of the piece and his editors simply never took the time to think of Vanderbilt as a human being. And, in addition, this is the theme that was coming over and over as I read the stories of trans brothers and sisters across the internet. That we, as a society, somehow fail to recognize that they are human. That somehow by being born trans, they are somehow automatically thought of as less.

Why do we place such value on our gender? We all know the stories of boys on the playground belittling their classmates with taunts of "faggot" and "sissy" on the playground, and these terms have become less and less acceptable as the success of the gay and lesbian rights movement has grown. But, if you ask any boy or man what the worst insult that they could have, if they are honest, it isn't "fag," it's actually to be called a woman or a girl. We see coaches intimidate and antagonize their teams by calling them "ladies" or "girls." We see fraternity hazing rituals in which pledges are forced to dress in women's clothing. We all laugh and giggle at "Womenless Beauty Pageants" where high ranking men in the community demean themselves by dressing up in women's clothing and makeup in order to raise money for a charity.

Even in the gay community, there is often tremendous discrimination against transgender men and women. Much like the LGBT acronym, the T is often at most an afterthought, grudgingly accepted as part of the overall movement, but rarely, if ever, the focus. Even in gay rights publications and websites you will see transgender jokes and insults accepted as if they are the norm, and comments sections full of vitriol against transgender people, similar to the attacks you see on twitter and in mainstream publications against women who dare to speak out.

All of this, again, comes back to thinking of trans people as somehow less than whole, less than deserving of the same rights and acceptance that all of us have by mere fact of being born. The fact is that Dr. V and the rest of the transgender community were born how they are. Their struggles in dealing not only with the spectrum of sexuality (to whom they are attracted) but with their very gender (who they are) are monumental and deserve not the derision and dismissal that they often provoke, but instead deserve deep respect, acceptance, and understanding.

Dr. V and many other transgender men and women get nothing of this. Just like in Hannan's article, the fact that someone lives the gender that they are rather than the biological anatomy with which they were born is seen as a lie, or a fraud, or even treason against their sex. All of this is ludicrous. It is a disease, a mental illness from which our society suffers, much like any other hatred of others different from what society considers the "norm".

It is my hope that this horrific story will be a chance for many of us to stand up and start fighting back against the burdens that our society places on transgender men and women. Perhaps this will be the spark for many of us, who have remained silent on transgender issues to speak more forcefully about them, to educate, to learn, to show more respect. Because until we do, and until all of us start seeing transgender men and women as equal human beings worthy of the same respect and rights as any of us, we will see many, many more endings like Dr. V's.

And we can't afford that.

Business

Hey, there's a great new attorney opening an office in Shelby, NC. You should go check him out and hire him for all of your legal needs. I highly recommend him.

He also needed me to put this image on the web so he can add it to his email since he hasn't set up his own website yet.