Mom

As most of you know, my Mom died on September 24.  I was honored by my family by being asked to write and deliver the eulogy at her funeral last Thursday.  Below is the text of the eulogy.  It gives you just a little glimpse of how wonderful my mother was.  Thank you all for the cards, prayers, kind words and time you have given to me through this difficult time.

    We gather here today to mourn our loss, but more importantly we come today to celebrate the life of a remarkable woman, one who has touched each of us in a different but equally important way, a woman who I had the privilege throughout my life of calling mom.
    As I thought about what I was going to say today, one word kept coming to mind – strength.  That is what I am going to speak of today, my mom’s strength.    You would never know from looking at her that mom could be as strong as she was, a little girl from Geneva, Ohio, barely over five feet tall.  But for anyone who knew her, it is no surprise that she was known on the playground in her youth as Toughy Tanner, for although small in stature, she had an inner strength that allowed her to stand up not only for herself but for anyone she loved without hesitation.
    It was this strength that helped her survive what was at times a very difficult and troubling childhood.  More importantly it was her strength which made sure that her children were spared such difficulty and that the cycle was broken with her.
    It was this strength that allowed her to raise seven children, five of whom were 13 months or less apart.  At three different times, my mom had three children in diapers at the same time.  For myself, who sometimes finds it challenging to take care of one child in diapers, this seems almost superhuman.
    It was also my mom’s strength that moved her to leave the relative comfort of her life as a homemaker to take a job at Syracuse University so that she could guarantee that her children would have the benefit of a college education.  Her strength sustained her through 18 years at SU, typing so fast that to me it seemed that her hands were a blur, even though she suffered from painful and debilitating arthritis.  She kept working as her health became worse, so that she could see me, her last child through school, and yes, her date of retirement was the very next day after the date on my diploma.
    Later in her life, it was her strength that sustained her through her many ailments. From COPD, to cancer, to heart problems, she faced each ailment head on and fought them courageously.  Whenever her strength would fail her, she could lean on my dad to whom she was married for 55 years and together they would pull each other through.
    But it was in the last few months and weeks that we really saw my mom’s strength as she fought her last battle.  She did not go quietly into that good night.  She held on until she knew it was time for her finally to leave.  And what was truly remarkable was the strength to know when it was time to stop fighting that truly showed what a remarkable woman my mom was.
    There was not a dry eye in the hospital room at St. Joe’s when my brother Mike arrived a few weeks ago as we all came knowing the end was near to say goodbye to my mom.  When she saw him and realized that all seven of us were there, she said “Now everybody’s home.”
    Mom, now you’re home.  We love you and we will surely miss you.  But we have your strength, and that will carry us through these next weeks and months and we will always know whenever times are tough that we can lean on your memory and your strength will carry us through.