It was revealed this week that the National Security Agency and the FBI have been collecting metadata on every telephone call placed within the United States for the last seven years. A day later it was revealed that through its PRISM platform the NSA has been tapping directly into the servers of virtually every major internet company beginning in 2007.
Now there has been a lot of bellyaching on the part of the civil liberties community (read: America hating communists). Woe is me! Our data is being collected! Cry me a river.
I would like to focus on the benefits that such a treasure trove of data could bring to us.
For instance, the next time you are filling out a job application and it asks for your most recent five addresses and you can't seem to remember the address of that studio apartment you lived in for three months, just dial up the NSA and ask.
The next time you can't remember your password? The NSA can help you out with that.
Ever had a hankering to view your old zombie My Space page and don't remember what your login was or if My Space actually still exists? The friendly folks at the NSA can easily pull up those pages for you.
Hey, NSA, what was my old friend's Spotify playlist that I liked so much? You know, the one that had the really great tribal beats on it? Yeah, that's the one. Thanks, man. I couldn't have done that without you.
So, the next time you want to whine about all the privacy invasion this and military industrial complex that, remember: Let the Surveillance State's massive data mining work for you!
This message brought to you by the new NSA: We're not just for indiscriminate killing anymore; and by Organizing for America.
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