It was a sticky June evening in this small, sleepy, Southern town. People were gathering on the lawn in the garden behind a church carrying food, lawn chairs, picnic blankets, coolers, playing cornhole, and watching their children run on the playground. Everything seemed perfectly ordinary, except for the four loud protesters carrying signs and loudly shouting bible verses and hurling insults at those who came in.
You see, despite appearances, this was not an ordinary church picnic at all, this was Shelby, North Carolina's first ever gay pride event, organized and hosted by the Episcopal Church of the Redeemer. In the seventeen plus years I had lived and practiced law in this town that sometimes seems like it is stuck in 1950 both in appearance and attitude, I had never seen a more diverse group of individuals gather in one place. Gay, straight, all races, ages, economic backgrounds, Christian, atheist, pagan, all gathering and celebrating simply being able to be themselves. One thing that really struck me in that huge crowd of over 300 people gathering on a church lawn was that everyone was smiling, hugging, holding hands, and simply enjoying themselves. The feeling of joy and celebration was universal, the only bad feelings or negativity were coming from the four lonely protesters tying to disrupt the party to no avail.
This celebration came on the heels of decades of fear and discrimination, and more immediately after a week of intense debate on social media, in the comments section of the local paper, and in the pulpits of local churches. The comments ranged from the typical (and theologically suspect) "Love the sinner, hate the sin" kind of nonsense, to "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," to more troubling and offensive statements such as "God ain't run out of AIDS yet." The attacks went from attacking gays and lesbians to fanning out attacking women and calling the supporters of the event baby killers. The one theme that seemed to run through most of the attacks, however, was that it was wrong for a Christian church to be sponsoring a program like this because to celebrate and accept the LGBT community was to go against God.
One local pastor went so far as to publish a long, ranting screed criticizing our church and our Rector, along with the local paper for publishing a story about the event. He went through the usual who's who hit list of Bible verses, always taken alone, to demonstrate his belief that homosexuality was wrong in the eyes of God. He further went on to attack the Episcopal Church, our Rector, our parish, our finances, and the way we carry out our ministries. Seriously. He seemed somewhat unhinged as he ranted and raged about how 80% of the county voters had approved of the State constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage, so why were we having this event?
Although I know that not all of his church approves of his actions during the week, it is notable that two of the four protesters at the event were from his church. It is also notable that while all of this was happening, I received vaguely threatening letters along with religious tracts attacking same sex marriage at my office, two gay members of my church had their house vandalized with homophobic threats painted on their door, and the church was deluged with threatening e-mails and letters throughout the week. Take the protesting soldiers funerals out of the equation, and there is really little difference between the beliefs being put forth by this pastor, and those agreeing with him and acting on his behalf, and the Westboro Baptist Church.
When we first met for a planning session that was called by our Rector saying she wanted to organize a Gay Pride event for Shelby, North Carolina, I was expecting a demonstration, or a parade, or something in your face. Having been an activist in one issue or another all of my adult life, rallies or demonstrations are something that is in my blood, and confrontation is something I know moves issues forward. I have to admit that when she announced to the group of about 25 organizers that the plan was for a picnic, I was a little disappointed and thought it was a little hokey.
I could not have expected that something so innocent and so un-confrontational as a picnic, could create such controversy. It was only after experiencing the apoplectic reaction of the religious conservatives in town and seeing the pure love and joy shared by all of those in attendance, did I realize how perfect and ingenious the idea to have a picnic was. For the public at large, it created the incredibly absurd picture of a group that was so rabid in their opposition to the LGBT community that they would actually picket a church picnic. But more importantly, for those in attendance, whether they were gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or straight allies, it gave them a safe place where they could be themselves without fear of disapproval, without fear of retribution, without fear, period. The power and strength that came from that was truly something that I am glad I was able to be a part of.
But more importantly for us as a church, it was a way to experience and live our faith in a deeper and more direct way. This was not a safe thing for us to do as a church. We could have gone about attending our Sunday services, and doing our ministries, writing our checks, and felt pretty good about ourselves that we were inclusive and open. But, in this event, we put our beliefs of openness, inclusiveness, hospitality, and above all LOVE into practice. We stood up to the critics and the naysayers and said we will not be cowed by your insults and your threats and your criticisms. We are people of faith and we are going to make a stand for what we believe even if you look down on us for doing so.
I was raised in a Roman Catholic church that was unbelievably liberal in its message and its practices. My pastor growing up had marched with Dr. King in Selma, and never shied away from a fight because he was afraid to ruffle feathers. So, after he left our parish I was left with a church which had over the years moved away from his type of Liberation Theology to a much more conservative theology with little emphasis on social justice, and much more emphasis on morality, especially sexual morality. I became more and more dismayed as I searched for a church which shared my views and shared what I felt was the true message of Christianity -- that we are to love one another as Christ loved us and our neighbor as ourselves.
It wasn't until the issue of Amendment One came to the forefront that I found what I had been searching for my whole life. Seeing that there was one (and only one) church that was speaking out against the proposed amendment to our state constitution banning same sex marriage and civil unions, I decided to check out what they had to offer. What I found was the only church of which I had ever been a part, that was actually practicing the message that I had always found in the Bible, that radical love and revolutionary acceptance that for me was the whole point of Christ's message.
In the years since, I have become much more spiritual, much more religious, and I can say with confidence a generally better person. I attend services almost every week, I am involved in my parish's leadership, my family is involved in various ministries in the church, and my child is being raised to actively know and love God in an atmosphere that teaches her that she is an equal and equally valuable part of our church family as is everyone regardless of their gender, race, sexual orientation, economic standing, or age.
So, what say you who lobbed insults and vicious attacks on social media, or who stood outside our picnic and insulted people as they arrived and left the event (my wife on leaving asked my just turned five year-old daughter to close her eyes and plug her ears so she wouldn't have to hear the insults being shouted at her)? How is it that God could use the LGBT community to speak to me and bring me back into God's fold and God's house if he hates gays and lesbians and considers them unworthy of God's love and acceptance? How could God speak to me through their struggle if what you are saying is true? How could I be healed of my anger, disappointment and emptiness,by the welcoming call of lesbians and gays to come back to God's house, if God did not love each of God's creation equally? And how is it that God could act through us to organize an event where all of those in attendance were able to share God's house with joy, love, and laughter while those outside claiming to work in God's name were so angry and sad?
The Sunday following the picnic, our early service was marred by protesters who came onto church property yelling through bullhorns trying to disrupt our service. They were asked to leave and eventually did after the intervention of local law enforcement. They left graffiti on our sidewalk demanding that we repent of our beliefs or else we would burn in hell. After the conclusion of the later service, several of those attending the service cleaned the graffiti from the sidewalk. After clearing away all the hateful language, they left one word untouched. The only word that mattered.
"LOVE"
