Unimaginable?

The day after the massacre in a gay nightclub in Orlando left 49 people dead and more than 50 more critically injured, my hometown newspaper ran a banner headline that read "UNIMAGINABLE." This sentiment was widely shared by many following the brutal assault by a single individual targeting the LGBTQ community.

But was this truly unimaginable? Certainly it was shocking and horrific, especially for those of us in the LGBTQ community. But certainly it was imaginable if you have been paying attention.

The last decade has truly been one of tremendous strides for gays, lesbians, bisexual, and transgender individuals. Many states have passed laws granting full civil rights to the LGBTQ community. The Supreme Court has recognized same sex marriage and more importantly have found that gay people are afforded the equal protection of the law recognizing that the fundamental rights due all Americans under the Constitution also apply to gay Americans. Less than a decade ago, it was unimaginable for a major party candidate to campaign in support of gay rights. Now, candidates (some in both parties) fall all over themselves to garner the support of the LGBTQ community, and make their support of gay rights a central theme of their campaign.

But, as progress has been made at unexpected speed, the backlash against the LGBTQ community has been just as swift. The past couple of years have seen hateful laws passed in many states such as HB2 in my state of North Carolina, which enshrine in the laws of our states outright discrimination and second class status to LGBTQ individuals. In a majority of states it is still legal to discriminate on the basis of sexuality and gender identity in employment, housing, and public accommodations. And pure unadulterated hate speech has been directed at the gay community from judges, lawmakers, and most especially Christian religious leaders.

Here are just a few examples of the hateful statements made about the LGBTQ community from our nations leaders in the past several years, right up to the present.

The recently deceased Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia had a wealth of hateful things to say about the gay community. Scalia defended laws banning "homosexuals" from serving as teachers, or allowing discrimination against them in employment or housing saying "They view this as protecting themselves and their families from a lifestyle that they believe to be immoral and destructive." In other opinions, he compared homosexuality to murder, polygamy, and cruelty to animals.

Current U.S. Senator and recent Presidential candidate Ted Cruz has compared the LGBTQ community to terrorists, calling their opposition to discriminatory laws a "jihad." Not to be one-upped, Republican commentator, former governor and Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee said Cruz wasn't "homophobic enough" to be President.

Tony Perkins, of the Family Research Council, has likened gays to Nazis claiming LGBT activists are going to "start rolling out the boxcars" and carting away Christians, a reference to the Holocaust. Brian Fischer of the American Family Association has called the rainbow symbol the "mark of the beast" and has called for gays to be put to death. Fischer has also gone down the Nazi path calling LGBTQ activists "jack-booted homofascist thugs who want to use the tyrannical and totalitarian power of the state to send men of faith to jail, and that frankly sounds a lot more like Nazi Germany than the United States of America"

Nationally recognized Christian evangelical leader Franklin Graham, son of legendary evangelist Billy Graham, has said that Satan himself is behind the so-called "gay agenda." Among other inflammatory statements, Graham has stated "The architect behind this [gay rights] offensive is none other than Satan himself. The Scripture says that the devil, our archenemy, is bent on as much destruction as possible." 

And just recently evangelical pastor Pat Dobson encouraged followers to shoot trangender individuals in bathrooms stating “If this [transgender people in bathrooms] had happened 100 years ago, someone might have been shot.Where is today’s manhood? God help us!”

Of course the rhetoric coming out of the Republican leadership of the North Carolina General Assembly in defending its horrible House Bill 2 which undid several anti-discrimination statutes across North Carolina which had protections for LGBTQ individuals, and outlawed any protections for LGBTQ individuals in the state of North Carolina has been extremely troubling. House Speaker Tim Moore (who is the former business partner of the author of this blog post) has repeatedly stated that gay and transgender individuals are a public safety issue, claiming that Charlotte's ordinance allowing transgender people to use the bathroom corresponding to their gender identity was a threat to women and children in their bathrooms. Senator Phil Berger and Governor Pat McCrory have stated the same or similar comments repeatedly.

Of course this was nothing new for Speaker Moore. His entire political career has been based on passing bills and laws that attack the rights of the LGBTQ community. As a student at UNC- Chapel Hill while Speaker of the Student Assembly, Moore made a concerted effort to defund the campus gay rights organization, using his power of appointment, and gerrymandering of campus districts to accomplish this, something he has also done in the state's General Assembly as Speaker of the House.

So, why is it that Orlando is unimaginable? Rather than beyond belief, it shouldn't surprise us at all. In fact, the Orlando massacre can be seen as a truly American crime, where the intersection of anti-gay rhetoric, easy access to guns, and a steady diet of media fueled hate combined in an explosion of mass violence resulting in the massive loss of life of 49 mostly LGBTQ, mostly Latino Americans.

And the response has been uniquely American as well. The refusal of many media outlets and politicians to even acknowledge this as a direct targeting of the gay community, the quick linking of this to Islamic terrorism despite little evidence of that fact, the quick co-opting of the tragedy to push everything from anti-immigrant policy, to gun control, to military retaliation, and the inevitable spiking of gun manufacturers stock prices after a mass shooting, are products of this same homophobic American culture that spurred the shooting in the first place.

Now it is being reported that the shooter may himself have been a closeted gay man, having apparently been active on gay hook-up acts and even possibly previously frequenting the Pulse nightclub itself. This, too, is an inevitable outgrowth of everything set forth above. As our society, our politicians, and our religions make out the LGBTQ as the enemy, the "other" which is to be feared and hated, many LGBTQ individuals develop a self hatred that causes them to act out against that which they fear about themselves. 

We need not look overseas or to Islamic culture, or immigrants to find the enemy which caused the Orlando massacre. The enemy is right here among us. The hatred that is expressed on a daily basis from all corners of America is the cause of this violence. And those that perpetuate it, whether it be by hateful speech, discriminatory laws, or mere refusal to stand against anti-gay activity, the blood of Orlando is on your hands.

Blood Wars

Since the 1980s the FDA has maintained a policy which prevents any male who has ever had sex with another male from donating blood. It is a policy which was enacted at the height of the AIDS scare and was done to calm fears about the safety of the nation's blood supply. Over the last several years this policy has come in for major criticism as it does little to protect the blood supply while openly discriminating against gay men.

Within the last month, the FDA amended this policy. While at first this sounded like good news, in fact the amendment did little to change the existing policy. The new policy says that gay men can donate blood, but only if they have gone at least one year without having sexual contact with another male.

This has rightly been criticized both by gay rights activists and by medical professionals, and for good reason. First, discriminating now against sexually active gay men does nothing to keep the blood supply safe. When this policy was first enacted, we knew very little about AIDS (or what was originally called GRID -- Gay Related Immunodeficiency Disease) or HIV. Because the virus first spread through gay communities, it became synonymous with gay men. However, with more than 30 years of study, we much better understand the virus and disease caused by the virus. While AIDS first spread through the gay community, it is spread through unprotected sex, direct transmission of bodily fluids, or use of infected needles. It does not discriminate based on sexuality, gender, or race. Spikes in rates of HIV infection have occurred among straight populations as well as gay populations.

To continue a policy which discriminates only against gay men ignores all of the information we have learned about HIV/AIDS. A monogamous gay man in a committed relationship is much less likely to contract HIV than a sexually promiscuous straight man. A straight woman in a relationship with a non-monogamous man is also much more likely to contract HIV even though she may be completely unaware that her partner is being promiscuous. Of course, because of this the blood supply is tested for HIV and for other blood borne illnesses such as hepatitis. This would be no different for blood donated by sexually active gay men.

In an NPR story about the FDA's decision, a member of the FDA in defending the decision said that nobody has the right to donate blood. And he is correct. However, if the FDA's purpose in continuing the ban on sexually active gay men is to help insure the safety of the nation's blood supply, the decision may end up having exactly the opposite result. That is because the one thing that it does guarantee is that the stigma faced by gay men will continue because of this policy.

Despite the amazing and groundbreaking advances that LGBTQ individuals have made in the United States in recent years in terms of civil rights, status, and acceptance, being gay in the United States still carries a stigma. LGBTQ people still suffer discrimination, harassment, and violence in large numbers. Open displays of affection, even minor ones such as a kiss or holding hands, often result in violence against gays. Transgender women and men especially suffer serious violence, especially trans women of color, of whom as many as 30 were murdered this year. Even absent violence, societal discrimination against gays still exists and in many ways is accepted in much of the United States. A majority of states do not have protections for LGBTQ individuals in housing, employment, or public accommodations.

This policy by the FDA adds to this stigma. It grows out of the paranoia of the early days of AIDS, when hospital wards were treated like we treat Ebola today. There was a tremendous fear of especially gay men as people in their ignorance believed AIDS could be spread by casual contact. Gay men were essentially ostracized from society, leading to radical activism by groups such as ACT-UP who rightly saw this as a fight for their lives, as the federal government was doing nothing to address the spread of the disease as it ravaged the gay community.

By continuing to ban the donation of blood by sexually active gay men, the FDA essentially says to the nation that gay men are still something to be feared, that we are not acceptable or normal in society, that it is ok to despise us, ostracize us, and discriminate against us. It perpetuates fear of gay men which leads to and justifies hate against us. It is this very fear along with all of the other societal pressures from family, church, and peers which causes gay men to remain in the closet. It is this stigma which causes closeted men to seek anonymous encounters on the sly rather than pursue healthy dating relationships. This policy inadvertently leads to the increase of the very risky behaviors which most easily spread HIV.

So, how do we get the FDA to change its policy. It will take the same radical action that led to changes in other policies on discrimination, marriage, adoption, and other civil rights for LGBTQ individuals. I imagine there are many who will hesitate about the idea of a boycott of blood donations, myself included. However, it is just this type of action, and probably only this type of action which is going to force the changes which are necessary. Fighting AIDS has always been a life or death issue for the gay community, until it becomes just as compelling issue for everyone else, especially those in the FDA making these decisions, it is unlikely that the new revised policy will change.

It is for this reason that I believe a national, vocal, and committed boycott of blood donation may be necessary in order to force the issue. I don't think it will take very long, and I wish there was some other way to bring to the forefront this issue, but a blood boycott seems to be the quickest and most effective way for change to occur.

It is time to end the stigma, break the closet, be loud, be proud. Our lives still depend on it. Act Up, Fight Back, Fight AIDS.

Why Christian?

Recently I started a Bible Study/Discussion group that meets weekly at a Brewery here in town. I called it Beer and Bible and it has drawn an ever changing and eclectic group of individuals who have inspired some of the best and most insightful conversations I had ever had on the Bible, religion, and Christianity.

This week, I proposed a kind of different conversation for our group. I was inspired by the recent and overwhelmingly successful conference that was organized by Rachel Held Evans and Nadia Bolz-Webber called Why Christian? in which they had a series of speakers, all of whom were women, tell their story as to why they are active in the Christian faith. The speakers were from various denominations, backgrounds, races, ages, and experiences.

I thought this would be a great topic for our meeting as well. Why are we Christian? In a world in which Christianity has become embroiled in scandal, abuse, greed, and materialism, why are we surprised that so many young people are turning away from Christianity altogether? In the lead up to the meeting many of my online friends expressed interest in the topic, and many who had given up on Church long ago said that perhaps they could be inspired to return (although church and faith are definitely not the same thing).

In preparation for the meeting, I started thinking about what I might say about why I am a Christian and found that even for me, someone who's faith has been renewed to a level previously unimaginable, who has gained a new wondrous and mature understanding of God, spirituality, redemption, and belief, this was not an easy question.

So, first I looked at Why Not Christian? What are those things that have become associated with Christianity that are driving people away from the Christian faith in droves? The four main things I came up with were exclusivity, hatefulness, dying, and conservative. So, let's look at each of these a little more in depth so you know what I mean.

1. Exlusivity.

This, for me, was the one thing that drove me away from the church in which I was raised. I had found that the Catholic Church had become ridiculously exclusive. More and more, I found that I was feeling less and less welcome in the church in which I had been baptised, confirmed, and (at least the second time) married. I knew that the church had closed its doors completely to lesbians and gays (that is, unless they simply give up who they are and live celibate lives denying the very essence of their humanness), and had relegated women to official and permanent second class status. 

But it was becoming more than simply ostracizing certain groups based on the way they were born. The Church was becoming more and more strict about what beliefs you espoused on issues that had nothing to do with religion itself. Your political beliefs, or your social beliefs started becoming fodder for membership in the church. If you voted for pro-choice candidates, or if you supported the legalization of same-sex marriage, this now became reason for denying you communion, essentially in the Catholic faith condemning you to an eternity in hell if you believed in that.

After leaving the Catholic church, and finding my way as a newly minted Episcopalian, I started noticing that this exclusivity was a major part of many Christian faiths. Defining what was "real Christianity" versus "false Christianity" became a theme in the teachings of many Christian preachers and followers. These types of Christians see themselves as being the exclusive owners of the Truth and use this view to condemn all others who don't believe exactly the same as they do. Their view of God is so small that it fits neatly in easily digestible platitudes. They survive off of control and fear and grow based on the dependence that this instills in their followers.

It's not hard to see how this negative, belittling view of Christianity would tend to drive those who are growing up in a culture that is increasingly open and accepting would turn away from such beliefs.

2. Hate

It's amazing that a church that was founded on the teachings of a man whose central theme was love would use their beliefs to spread hate against others. But the modern day Christian church is chock full of hate for "others" whoever they may be.

The most obvious target for this hate within Christianity is against LGBTQ individuals. God Hates Fags may be associated with the insane members of the Westboro Baptists Church who picket funerals of soldiers killed in combat, but the belief is one that is the foundation of much of the teaching going on in many if not most modern day Christian churches. The harm that Christianity has done to LGBT youth is unfathomable, leading to gays and lesbians living a miserable closeted existence, being constantly dishonest about who they are, and often leading to suicide.

But Christianity's hate is not reserved exclusively for LGBTQ people, but also those of other beliefs. Muslims are often the target of such vile hatred. If you took out the word "Muslim" from the rants of preachers like Franklin Graham it would be virtually impossible to distinguish them from the most radical member of ISIS railing against infidels.

Often this hate against different beliefs is turned against other Christians. Those who don't believe exactly the same way as we do are considered not to be True Christians. If you don't follow the exact tenants, use the exact same Bible, or act exactly the way we act, you are "other", impure, inauthentic.

Such ideas are out of step both with our modern culture as much as they are with the teachings of Jesus Christ himself.

3. Dying

Christianity is a dying religion. Its leaders are old. Its followers are old. Its beliefs are old. Christianity has no bearing or significance in our daily lives.

This is the view of many in our culture today. And it isn't difficult when you look at many of the leaders of the modern Christian church why that is. So many of our leaders seem to be concerned more about their bank balance, than their work to carry out the message of their Lord and Savior. When you see televangelists scamming poor widows out of their life savings so they can buy a bigger jet, or live in a bigger mansion, that religion deserves to go the way of the dinosaurs.

Christianity because of its insistence on rules, dogmas, and fear is losing its influence on our society. The fact that fewer and fewer Americans are calling themselves Christians or religious at all shows that the church is indeed dying.

Billy Graham surrounded by a gaggle of rich, powerful power brokers from Rupert Murdoch, to Sarah Palin to Donald Trump.

4. Conservative

I don't mean this in a political sense, although it would fit that too. What I mean is that the church has ceased being bold, assertive, controversial. Christianity has become safe. So safe that it is boring.

A church that doesn't take chances, that doesn't challenge society's norms, that doesn't risk controversy is a church that is insignificant.

Now you will see all sorts of Christians claiming that they are radical. You will see them claiming that they are being persecuted by our secular laws. You will see them claiming that God has no place in our public life in the United States any longer. You will see them claiming that there are all sorts of plots against them to dismantle and attack Christianity.

This, of course, is all hog wash. I can't seem to escape religion in the public square however hard I may try. The only way that Christians are being persecuted or discriminated against is that they are not being allowed to force their beliefs on others (yet). Not being allowed to discriminate is not the same as being discriminated against. And nobody is forcing any church anywhere to do anything against their beliefs within their own church.

So, what it comes down to is that Christianity is very much in favor of the status quo. It is safe. It is insular. It is stayed.

And in all of that, it is insignificant.

So, with all of these very good reasons not to be Christian, why am I a Christian still?

It wasn't long ago that I really didn't consider myself to be much of a Christian, if one at all. I had the faith in which I was raised, and that still carried a significant cultural influence on me. But as I mentioned above, I no longer felt welcome at the church of my upbringing, nor did I feel the need to belong to a church at all. Religion played little role in my day to day life. Prayer was non-existent. If I had to choose a religion on a questionnaire I was just as likely to put None as I was to put Catholic or Christian.

So what is it that brought me back to the church? Really it was finding a church which reawakened my faith, re-introduced me to the teachings of Jesus Christ, and followed that teaching up with action, making these teachings relevant and significant to today's world. There are many people in what the newly installed Presiding Bishop in my Episcopal Church calls the Jesus Movement who follow this call to be a relevant active faith, taking on the challenges of modern society and making a significant impact on our world by following and living the Gospel and basing our lives on it.

So, what are the traits of the Christianity that I have found and adopted in my life? Not surprisingly, the Christianity that claimed me exhibits traits that are essentially the polar opposite of what the Christianity described above. We are open. We are inclusive and affirming. We are life giving and life affirming. And most importantly we are radical, like Jesus.

1. Open

One of the most significant things I found right away was that my faith and my church was one of openness. You don't have to be a particular type of person to be a Christian. You can be a Christian if you are rich, poor, white, black, Liberal, Conservative, Educated, Uneducated, gay, straight, male, female, transgender, or any number of descriptors you can come up with. God is not exclusive, so why should God's church be?

Jesus in his ministry did not turn people away. He went out to the people, meeting with tax collectors, thieves, lepers, Gentiles, prostitutes, demoniacs. He ministered to those who had been shut out of the accepted "in crowd" of the day. So why should we turn our backs on those who have been ostracized by our current society? Aren't these the very people that we are called to embrace if we are living like Jesus?

The Christianity I found is one of no limits. God is limitless, so the more barriers we God's followers put up, the less we are living out our faith; the less we are like God. When we love and welcome all people, whether they are like us in their beliefs, their appearance, their sexuality, and honor the divine in them, we are helping to create the Kingdom of God here on Earth, as Jesus himself taught us to pray for.

2. Inclusive and Affirming

This may seem similar to being open, but openness and inclusiveness are not the same. Affirming is a step further.

In order for Christianity to be inclusive, those barriers that have caused division within the church must be broken down. That means that exclusion based on sex, race, sexuality, etc. is not to be tolerated. Women must be equal with men. Gay equal with straight. Black equal with white. Transgender equal with Cis-gender. To exclude is to lessen both ourselves and God.

For many the inclusion of even women as equals in worship is unfathomable. But for me, the father of a daughter, the brother of sisters, and the son of a mother, anything less than true equality between the sexes was unacceptable. I wanted my daughter to know that she was truly the equal of anyone and there was no better way to see that than to see a person of her gender acting as God's representative in worship.

Even more unacceptable to many Christians than women having an equal role in the church is openly LGBTQ people playing an equal role. Of course, to get to this point you need to see LGBTQ people as people rather than behaviors. What I have experienced in belonging to an affirming church, one that says to its members we love and accept you for who you are and because of who you are, is the most amazing thing in the world. Those who have felt shunned, sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally, from the Christian church because of who they are, become filled with a joy and Grace that can only come from God. When one realizes that they are loved as a child of God wholly including their sexuality, you see a transformation that is truly beautiful.

Imagine going your whole life thinking that you are shameful. That whatever good you have in you, because of who you are and how you express sexual love, you can never be accepted fully by God and that you are condemned for it? That is what too many Christians are doing to the LGBTQ community.

But that is not what Christ would do. That is not what we as Christians are called to do. We are all children of God wholly, and completely, warts and all.

3. Life Giving and Life Affirming.

Seeing the life of Jesus Christ and especially his death and resurrection as a template for my life has been an incredible discovery. We constantly go through a process of life, death, and resurrection. We live our lives, constantly changing, constantly renewing, constantly being reborn. Every death is painful, bringing on sorrow and a period of mourning. But it is followed by a rebirth, a new beginning, and the renewal of life again.

A church (and by church I mean a group of believers, not a building or a particular denomination) that is life giving and life affirming will not sit back and watch the world go by. A church filled with life can't help but spread that life to others. That means feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, helping the poor, uplifting the weak, fighting for justice. Life breeds life.

A church that respects life -- all life -- will stand firm on issues that destroy life. A life giving and life affirming church will work to stop war, will work to stop executions, will work to stop violence. This is what I have found in Christianity.

4. Radical Like Jesus

Above I described a Christianity that had become conservative, boring, institutional. A Christianity that was safe, working for the status quo. This is Country Club Christianity, where you belong to be seen and to rub elbows with power brokers. Just look at the group of wealthy parasites that Franklin Graham dredged up for his father's birthday celebration a few years back and you start to see why there is an ever growing army of "Nones" in this country.

But the Christianity I have found and lived is true to the radical nature of Jesus himself. Jesus didn't get nailed to a Cross because he wanted things to stay the same. Jesus challenged every societal and religious norm that existed in his time and in his culture. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love your enemies. Do to others as you would have them do to you. His teachings on social justice present a picture of what the Kingdom of God will hold on Earth if we simply follow the teachings of Jesus and put our faith in God. Jesus turned the entire social structure of his day on its head.

We are called to follow Jesus's teachings and to do the same today. Christians are not called to be safe. We are not called to be timid. Christians are called to be like Christ -- bold, brave, radical. We are called to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. We are called to seek justice constantly, and not meekly, but loudly and forcefully. We are called to love, not when it is easy, but when it is hard, to love those who would hurt us the most, or who have hurt us the most.

It seems weird in a society where such a large percentage of our populace claims some form of Christianity or another as their religion that they mistakenly believe that we were founded as a Christian nation, that being a Christian could be counter-cultural. But that is what believing in the teachings of Jesus Christ and living our life according to these beliefs is. It is radical. It is against the grain. It is revolutionary.

To meet hate with love. To meet violence with pacifism. To meet fear with faith. These are radical ideas. They are what Jesus charged us to do if we were to follow Him. This is why I am Christian.

Call It What It Is

I try not to write when I'm angry. If I do, I tend to make statements that I don't really mean or that I later regret.

So, it has been the case that I have waited weeks and weeks before making this post. I first wanted to address the issue of the system of structural white supremacy when family members of an African-American student were arrested for cheering as their loved one graduated high school. Before I could write that post, there was the incident in McKinney, Texas where an out of control white police officer manhandled a young black girl wearing a bathing suit, and drew a gun on other young African-Americans, all because some white members of a gated community were upset that black kids were swimming in their pool.

My anger had subsided almost enough to write about the issues that I saw through all of these incidents as well as the all too regular killing of unarmed African-Americans by police usually without consequence when nine members of Mother Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, SC were murdered by a 21 year-old admitted white supremacist claiming that "you rape our women and are taking over everything," before shooting them during a Bible study.

I can't wait anymore.

This is not about Dylann Roof. This is not about a few bad apples in law enforcement. This is not about any individual incident or official. This is about a system that is built upon and for the purpose of perpetuating white supremacy in our country.

I am speaking today to my fellow white people. We are the ones in the wrong. We are the ones with the problem. Whether as active participants or as silent bystanders we benefit from this system and our failure to abolish it allows it to continue.

The shootings in Charleston are an obvious display of white supremacy. Nobody, except the most outrageously overt racist, would not condemn this unspeakable act of violence and hate. However, due to its outrageous nature, we allow ourselves to separate from the incident itself. We tell ourselves, that's not me. I would never do that. We see it as the outlier rather than the ultimate outcome of the societal norm.

In all of the examples I have set forth above, each and every one of them results from systemic white supremacy. In arresting the family of the graduating teenager, the system was saying "We allowed you to get a diploma, why do you insist on loudly celebrating this? Let us remind you where you belong as we place these cuffs on you."

In the incident at the pool in McKinney, Texas, the kids swimming were invited by a resident of the gated community, their African-American classmate, and were being supervised by her mother. But even though they were invited there and were legally attending as a guest of a resident, several white residents objected and called police, who happily obliged, ignoring white attendees and detaining, assaulting, and subjugating the black attendees. In essence, what was being said was "Aren't you satisfied that we let you live in our community? You have to invite your friends, too?" The police officer in question, who later resigned and will no doubt go on to police elsewhere, after flipping the 14 year-old girl and dragging her by her hair, proceeded to kneel on her back while yelling "On your face!" repeatedly as he assaulted her. For swimming in a pool. In 2015. In the United States of America.

Following the murders of the members of Mother Emanuel, there are calls for changes to be made. There are real issues that are being discussed. But what worries me is that superficial symbolic changes are made without really making the systemic changes that are needed. It is fine and noble (and 150 years overdue) to call for the removal of the Confederate Flag from the state house grounds in Columbia, South Carolina. But this will have no meaning unless we destroy the system of white supremacy which considers a flag representing the fight to defend a system of selling human beings into servitude to be heritage.

We are a nation which passes laws today which intentionally disenfranchise African-Americans because those in power see their participation in the system to be a threat to the status quo. We are a nation which passes laws which we know will disproportionately impact the African-American community imprisoning them at rates unequaled anywhere in the industrialized world. We are a nation which decries the destruction of property in response to immense injustice while shrugging our shoulders at the injustice itself.

It needs to end. Now.

The first thing to do when addressing a problem is to admit it exists and to give it a name. The name is white supremacy. It is a problem that is pervasive throughout our society. It is a system which intentionally harasses, discriminates against, imprisons, assaults, and murders people of color and does so systematically, continuously, and with impunity. It is a system by which we, white people, especially white males, benefit.

After we have admitted and named the problem, we must educate ourselves and our white brothers and sisters about the its causes and pervasiveness. Read about it. Listen to your black brothers and sisters without comment. Recognize the existence in large and small occurrences in your everyday life. Call it out when you see it. Make others recognize it and fight against it.

When we are educated, then we must fight to eradicate the philosophy of white supremacy from our society. Papering over it by taking down a flag, or eliminating one or two organizations, will not accomplish a thing. We will have a nicer looking system of injustice and evil. We must dismantle the system which feeds the idea that the white race is by its nature superior and entitled to more than any other, and that unequal treatment in our society justified by this belief. This is not easy, and this will cause great discomfort. But we will truly perish as a society if we do not put every fiber of our beings into this cause.

The time is now. Do not delay.

Stop Celebrating Hate

I love my town.

Despite the common belief that Southern towns don't welcome strangers, especially Yankees, into their fold, I have been welcomed, accepted, and forged a successful career here since arriving here nearly two decades ago. I love how Shelby, North Carolina celebrates its diversity, has developed a quirky arts scene, and has established itself as a center of bluegrass and roots music becoming known nationally for its musical heritage.

But, as with many Southern towns, we are surrounded by constant reminders of a not so positive past. Throughout our beautiful Uptown area, its impossible not to notice the old buildings with a main entrance and a door to the side that today seems inexplicable, but not long ago served as the "Colored" entrance to the building. Sometimes we are reminded of this ugly past whether it be by a hateful comment, a racist display, or even an act of racist violence. Although, unlike days past, these rare instances are met with almost universal revulsion.

While the past is inescapable, there is no need for us to celebrate the worst parts of it. So, why is it, then, that we continue to have the main highway through our town be named after a perpetrator of some of the most vile, violent, racist philosophy ever espoused?

Thomas Dixon, Jr. is one of Shelby's most famous and infamous sons. He was without a doubt an incredibly accomplished individual. A scholar, author, preacher, and philosopher who was a friend to Presidents and influenced millions, Dixon was considered one of the leading minds of the late 19th and early 20th century.

However, what Dixon is best known for is a trilogy of novels which championed the activities of the Ku Klux Klan and perpetuated a philosophy of white supremacy which considered persons of African descent to be less than human. Dixon's philosophy considered Africans to be inferior in intelligence, morality, and every other way. He supported lynching as a legitimate act necessary to subjugate the black race and to maintain the social order of the South. Dixon's books were the basis of the film "Birth of a Nation" which continues to be considered one of the most racist films ever made.

Dixon's beliefs were very much a result of his birth and upbringing in Cleveland County. At a young age he witnessed a lynching by Klan members in the Shelby town square of a black man accused of raping a white woman. As the body hanged from a tree in the town square, Dixon's mother whispered to him that the Klan were their people. As I walk each day through this very square on my way to the courthouse, I can't help but wonder if any of the beautiful old oak trees I pass once bore the weight of a burned and bullet riddled body of a young black man whose only jury was an angry mob and whose only due process was found at the end of a knotted rope.

I do not propose that we wipe our city of the memory of Thomas Dixon. I don't propose digging up his grave in Sunset Cemetery or even taking down the plaque which commemorates his authorship of "The Clansman" or that the book inspired "Birth of a Nation." His history is our history, as much as many of us wish it weren't.

But why should a city which is working so hard to reinvent itself as a cultural center, drawing visitors from across the Southeast and the nation, present as its gateway, a highway named after someone who spouted such vile and hateful racism? Our vibrant Uptown is filled with streets named after Revolutionary War heroes, recounting our County's pivotal role in the founding of the United States. We have built a new tourism industry based on our musical native sons Don Gibson and Earl Scruggs. We even have a new brewery opening in a few months which takes its name from this musical heritage. Our streets are now filled year round with performers and artists bringing a new progressive vibrancy that has not been seen here before. Surely we can do better than to continue to celebrate hate as we welcome those visitors coming in to share in this cultural renaissance we are experiencing.

I propose that we rename the stretch of U.S. Highway 74 that runs through Shelby, NC to reflect the musical heritage of this area. Certainly names such as Bluegrass Boulevard or Earl Scruggs Highway, or even Scruggs-Gibson Boulevard would better represent the Shelby of today than Dixon Boulevard does.

We do not need to forget our past, whether it be good or bad. In fact, we must remember it lest we repeat it again. But we need not celebrate the worst parts of it, nor yoke ourselves with the burden of past hatred. We can do better. We must do better.

What I Learned From My Social Media Fast

Let's face it. I'm a social media junkie. I admit it. If you see me in a spare moment, you will most likely see me clicking on my Facebook timeline or on my phone checking my Twitter feed.

The problem is that it has become a problem. It has been a constant source of friction between my wife and I. I often find myself unable to pay attention to a movie or television show because I get bored and have to check my phone. My life was being affected negatively by my social media habit.

So, recently, I made a decision that during my vacation with my wife and daughter, I would forego all social media for the entire week. I left the computer at home, deleted the Facebook and Twitter apps from my phone, and hunkered down for what I thought would be a white knuckle experience.

What I found was quite surprising. The biggest thing was that I didn't really find it that difficult not to constantly be checking my phone for the latest update on my social media feeds. This was especially the case for Facebook. Did I miss some things with my friends? I'm sure I did. Did it detract from my experience overall on my vacation to miss these things? Absolutely not.

In fact, I found myself thoroughly enjoying my time with my family, not missing any experience because I was on my phone or distracted otherwise by something that mattered very little in the grand scheme of things. My wife and I watched three movies and I actually paid attention for the entire length of the film. I was fully engaged with my daughter and more fully enjoyed each minute with her. It was by far the best, most relaxing, most enjoyable weekend I've had in quite some time.

So, why am I back on social media, although less than previously, especially when I'm with my family?

There are a couple of reasons. Granted these might be justifications rather than reasons.

1. I do enjoy it and it is a source of entertainment. This is especially the case for Facebook. It's how I keep in touch with friends who are separated by great distance and time. I enjoy the conversations and witticisms in the comments of my posts. So, to the extent that it benefits and adds to the enjoyment of my life, it is a positive thing. However, I realize that it can very quickly become a distraction, and take away from what is really important in my life.

2. To some extent social media has become a necessity. This is especially the case for my business. Even while on vacation I had clients or colleagues contact me on business through Facebook or Messenger. Facebook has been a quite effective way to maintain a presence in the community with little effort or cost to me. This is actually quite troubling, since what is a completely false interaction has become one of the ways we rely on to communicate with each other, but the pressure to compete is such that Facebook has become at least a necessary evil in some ways.

3. I was left to the evils of mainstream media for my news. This one is particular to Twitter. My Twitter feed has become my number one go to source for news. This is especially the case when there is important breaking news going on. In the last couple of months, the conflict in Gaza and the protests in Ferguson have demonstrated the great usefulness of Twitter in disseminating information on a global scale instantaneously as events happen. Twitter is fast becoming an incredibly influential medium in forming the public opinion and driving information in the world. It is subversive. It is revolutionary. It is one of the most democratizing services in the world. I like to be informed. Filtering my information through the incredibly monotonous and increasingly irrelevant mainstream news media makes me feel almost completely uninformed in comparison.

So, where does that leave me?

One thing I have learned through my week long social media fast is that my priorities were screwed up. My family must be the number one focus of my time and attention. Failure to do this is depriving me of the best thing that has ever happened to me, and depriving my wife and daughter of my time and attention.

The only question that remains is whether or not I am able to actually strike a balance between my use of social media and the attention that I must place on my family. If I can, and my priorities remain in the right order, everything will be great. If I can't, then the only acceptable solution will be to completely cut out the social media permanently. Hopefully it won't come to that, but if it does, at least I've learned that I can survive without constantly checking for the latest tweet or who posted the latest stupid meme or film of ice being dropped on someone's head.

How Gays Brought Me to Christ

It was a sticky June evening in this small, sleepy, Southern town. People were gathering on the lawn in the garden behind a church carrying food, lawn chairs, picnic blankets, coolers, playing cornhole, and watching their children run on the playground. Everything seemed perfectly ordinary, except for the four loud protesters carrying signs and loudly shouting bible verses and hurling insults at those who came in.

You see, despite appearances, this was not an ordinary church picnic at all, this was Shelby, North Carolina's first ever gay pride event, organized and hosted by the Episcopal Church of the Redeemer. In the seventeen plus years I had lived and practiced law in this town that sometimes seems like it is stuck in 1950 both in appearance and attitude, I had never seen a more diverse group of individuals gather in one place. Gay, straight, all races, ages, economic backgrounds, Christian, atheist, pagan, all gathering and celebrating simply being able to be themselves. One thing that really struck me in that huge crowd of over 300 people gathering on a church lawn was that everyone was smiling, hugging, holding hands, and simply enjoying themselves. The feeling of joy and celebration was universal, the only bad feelings or negativity were coming from the four lonely protesters tying to disrupt the party to no avail.

This celebration came on the heels of decades of fear and discrimination, and more immediately after a week of intense debate on social media, in the comments section of the local paper, and in the pulpits of local churches. The comments ranged from the typical (and theologically suspect) "Love the sinner, hate the sin" kind of nonsense, to "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," to more troubling and offensive statements such as "God ain't run out of AIDS yet." The attacks went from attacking gays and lesbians to fanning out attacking women and calling the supporters of the event baby killers. The one theme that seemed to run through most of the attacks, however, was that it was wrong for a Christian church to be sponsoring a program like this because to celebrate and accept the LGBT community was to go against God.

One local pastor went so far as to publish a long, ranting screed criticizing our church and our Rector, along with the local paper for publishing a story about the event. He went through the usual who's who hit list of Bible verses, always taken alone, to demonstrate his belief that homosexuality was wrong in the eyes of God. He further went on to attack the Episcopal Church, our Rector, our parish, our finances, and the way we carry out our ministries. Seriously. He seemed somewhat unhinged as he ranted and raged about how 80% of the county voters had approved of the State constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage, so why were we having this event?

Although I know that not all of his church approves of his actions during the week, it is notable that two of the four protesters at the event were from his church. It is also notable that while all of this was happening, I received vaguely threatening letters along with religious tracts attacking same sex marriage at my office, two gay members of my church had their house vandalized with homophobic threats painted on their door, and the church was deluged with threatening e-mails and letters throughout the week. Take the protesting soldiers funerals out of the equation, and there is really little difference between the beliefs being put forth by this pastor, and those agreeing with him and acting on his behalf, and the Westboro Baptist Church.

When we first met for a planning session that was called by our Rector saying she wanted to organize a Gay Pride event for Shelby, North Carolina, I was expecting a demonstration, or a parade, or something in your face. Having been an activist in one issue or another all of my adult life, rallies or demonstrations are something that is in my blood, and confrontation is something I know moves issues forward. I have to admit that when she announced to the group of about 25 organizers that the plan was for a picnic, I was a little disappointed and thought it was a little hokey.

I could not have expected that something so innocent and so un-confrontational as a picnic, could create such controversy. It was only after experiencing the apoplectic reaction of the religious conservatives in town and seeing the pure love and joy shared by all of those in attendance, did I realize how perfect and ingenious the idea to have a picnic was. For the public at large, it created the incredibly absurd picture of a group that was so rabid in their opposition to the LGBT community that they would actually picket a church picnic. But more importantly, for those in attendance, whether they were gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or straight allies, it gave them a safe place where they could be themselves without fear of disapproval, without fear of retribution, without fear, period. The power and strength that came from that was truly something that I am glad I was able to be a part of.

But more importantly for us as a church, it was a way to experience and live our faith in a deeper and more direct way. This was not a safe thing for us to do as a church. We could have gone about attending our Sunday services, and doing our ministries, writing our checks, and felt pretty good about ourselves that we were inclusive and open. But, in this event, we put our beliefs of openness, inclusiveness, hospitality, and above all LOVE into practice. We stood up to the critics and the naysayers and said we will not be cowed by your insults and your threats and your criticisms. We are people of faith and we are going to make a stand for what we believe even if you look down on us for doing so.

I was raised in a Roman Catholic church that was unbelievably liberal in its message and its practices. My pastor growing up had marched with Dr. King in Selma, and never shied away from a fight because he was afraid to ruffle feathers. So, after he left our parish I was left with a church which had over the years moved away from his type of Liberation Theology to a much more conservative theology with little emphasis on social justice, and much more emphasis on morality, especially sexual morality. I became more and more dismayed as I searched for a church which shared my views and shared what I felt was the true message of Christianity -- that we are to love one another as Christ loved us and our neighbor as ourselves.

It wasn't until the issue of Amendment One came to the forefront that I found what I had been searching for my whole life. Seeing that there was one (and only one) church that was speaking out against the proposed amendment to our state constitution banning same sex marriage and civil unions, I decided to check out what they had to offer. What I found was the only church of which I had ever been a part, that was actually practicing the message that I had always found in the Bible, that radical love and revolutionary acceptance that for me was the whole point of Christ's message.

In the years since, I have become much more spiritual, much more religious, and I can say with confidence a generally better person. I attend services almost every week, I am involved in my parish's leadership, my family is involved in various ministries in the church, and my child is being raised to actively know and love God in an atmosphere that teaches her that she is an equal and equally valuable part of our church family as is everyone regardless of their gender, race, sexual orientation, economic standing, or age.

So, what say you who lobbed insults and vicious attacks on social media, or who stood outside our picnic and insulted people as they arrived and left the event (my wife on leaving asked my just turned five year-old daughter to close her eyes and plug her ears so she wouldn't have to hear the insults being shouted at her)? How is it that God could use the LGBT community to speak to me and bring me back into God's fold and God's house if he hates gays and lesbians and considers them unworthy of God's love and acceptance? How could God speak to me through their struggle if what you are saying is true? How could I be healed of my anger, disappointment and emptiness,by the welcoming call of lesbians and gays to come back to God's house, if God did not love each of God's creation equally? And how is it that God could act through us to organize an event where all of those in attendance were able to share God's house with joy, love, and laughter while those outside claiming to work in God's name were so angry and sad?

The Sunday following the picnic, our early service was marred by protesters who came onto church property yelling through bullhorns trying to disrupt our service. They were asked to leave and eventually did after the intervention of local law enforcement. They left graffiti on our sidewalk demanding that we repent of our beliefs or else we would burn in hell. After the conclusion of the later service, several of those attending the service cleaned the graffiti from the sidewalk. After clearing away all the hateful language, they left one word untouched. The only word that mattered.

"LOVE"